


Observations

by Madelief



Series: Mind Over Matter [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:54:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madelief/pseuds/Madelief
Summary: Kaidan needs time to process.....





	Observations

‘I...uh....I’ll need some time to process that, Commander....’

_Yeah. Real smooth, Alenko._

Kaidan’s awkward stammer grinds to a halt as he stares at the neatly braided blonde plait retreating towards Dr Chakwas’ domain. It’s an effort to not let his eyes stray downward, over a toned body that packed as much muscle as his, yet bound up in a delightfully feminine package of curves and softness in all the right places. Or so his fevered imagination assumes, Kaidan’s cheeks flaming red when he stares straight into sapphire eyes sparkling with mischief, Shepard throwing him a final backward glance. A flash of ruby red lips and a cheeky grin is all he registers while his CO strolls nonchalantly out of his orbit, having dropped a bombshell of such epic proportions Kaidan is, for once, left speechless.

He’s heard about Commander Shepard, of course. Who in Alliance military hasn’t? The Butcher of Torfan, who is held up to them all as a model of ruthless efficiency, calculating and merciless in her single-minded determination to get results. At any cost. He’s ignored the whispers that have spread like wildfire throughout the Normandy crew since before Shepard came on board. Kaidan is never one to judge a book by its cover and there’d always been something that had never rung true from the gossip. He likes to see for himself, draw conclusions based on facts and logic.

That’s all well and good, except where facts and logic are blown away. He responds to her instinctively, drawn helplessly by a combination of her charm, assurance and a vulnerability hidden deep within her soul. To say he’s continually stunned from how unexpected Caya Shepard is in real life, is the understatement of the decade. Kaidan is sure that very few, if any, have spotted what she’d call a weakness. He calls it human, and from the first moment has been left daring to dream of so much more. Never, however, did he believe she’d return the same interest.

_Yet, here we are._

_So what are you going to do about it?_

Caya Shepard is an imperious, demanding ice princess. She’s feisty and sassy, articulate, complex and ferociously intelligent. She’s from a long line of Alliance royalty and stunningly beautiful is just the glossy icing on top of the picture perfect cake. _Never show any weakness._ He can hear her chanting the mantra in her mind as she tackles one crisis after another headlong and stubbornly refusing help. Something inside Shepard is fragile, brittle - not quite broken yet, if she continues on her current course of self-destruction, then he’s worried the next fight might be their last. 

Her quest to be the perfect, disciplined and emotionless soldier is at odds with the laughing, teasing Commander who just stood before him. Kaidan knows - he’s so attuned to her moods and reactions, even though they are still merely friends. If he dares even think of her as such. 

Kaidan watches Shepard as he’d admire a fine artwork from a Master - from a distance, with a healthy dose of appreciation and in fear of his life if he gets too close. Her fingers, of all things, have always struck him as exceptional - the slender grace of a classical musician lovingly caressing the keys over a piano always plays in his mind. Except he’s only ever seen the fingertips glide silently over a sniper rifle, right before she dispassionately watches the head of yet another enemy explode. He watches her covertly, unable to stop himself but fascinated by every tilt of her head, every terse order, every sarcastic quip, every scathing putdown. He tries to keep his distance, to maintain the respect that a officer of her station and ability deserved. 

It’s impossible. For several months now, Shepard-watching has become his favourite pasttime. It yields benefits beyond his wildest dreams. The slight flare in her eyes, the slight sharp inhale of her breath as she catches sight of a new planet spinning amongst the stars, all dead giveaways to a biotic trained to watch for the slightest chink in an otherwise impenetrable armour. Caya Shepard, to his incredulous disbelief, is a closet stargazer, a dreamer at heart just like him. He’s desperate to preserve the last vestiges of humanity, before she loses herself to the horror of war. 

There’s not much he can do but make things a little easier for her, to give her the space and peace to forget, just for a time. Whether it’s ensuring the cabinet is stocked with her favourite (albeit obscure) whiskey or enduring painful teasing from Joker to ensure the best seat in the house for their Commander, these are all tiny sacrifices Kaidan is more than willing to make. 

_So long as she never finds out._

_This is but the beginning..._

He’s used to the spark of appreciation he sees in the eyes of men and women both. He’s not one to act on the coy glances or suggestive whispers. Shepard’s invitation is, however, in a different league entirely. Kaidan turns back slowly to face his console once more, the stupid grin on his face refusing to subside. The game they’d played since she’d first marched on board had just gotten a whole lot more interesting.  It serves the dual purpose of distracting him from the knife throwers in his brain, reminding Kaidan that he too, is simply at the end of it all, a man. Very rapidly, falling in love.


End file.
